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  • Writer's pictureRaynecia Hebert

Time to Talk About Some Pregnancy Bullshit

When I found out that we were pregnant for the first time last year, well the second time if you count the miscarriage that we had earlier last year (which we do), Ty and I were both pretty jazzed up about it. While he continued to work from home mid-pandemic, I went into a crazy phase of “weirdness.” I didn’t give up on blogging but to be honest I lacked some serious motivation! I suffered from on and off phases of nausea, a picky appetite, and a STRONG ASS DESIRE TO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Every time I’d snap a photo of a food creation, I’d tell myself that I would type out a piece for it but never would. Each time I saw my belly grow, the little voice in my head would go off and say, “post your progress” but I never would. If you looked at my Instagram feed, my shit is spacey and if you peep my website then you’d probably wonder if I had just given up altogether. Well, I have been spending the last several months growing an actual baby and it is pretty dope. However, there are some things that have been so odd throughout this journey and I wanted to vent about it here. So, level with me when I say that…

1. Pregnancy is bullshit! It’s like a huge game of Russian Roulette.

Because you never know quite how your body is going to deal with it. If you have been pregnant before then you’re either rolling your eyes or snapping your fingers like I was preaching at a poetry slam competition. We find ourselves attempting to live up to a certain expectation. Some of us must please our bosses and our careers. A few of us are already juggling a child or two and the rest of us who are kind of in between don’t even know what to do with ourselves. Mommy blogs, pages, articles, and books all tell us that we need to calm the fuck down. “Take a nap,” “get more exercise,” “change up your diet because your body needs more x, y, z,” etc. Then there are things that can go wrong such as pre-eclampsia, toxemia, iron deficiencies (that is what I now have), gestational diabetes and the list goes on and on and on. Hey- I signed up for it so I’m not complaining but I suppose that these conditions are something that you try not to think about or might not know about when you’re conceiving. Some women completely thrive when they’re expecting, and they are the envy of mothers everywhere! Don’t believe me? Then check out the crazy shit women spout to one another on Instagram pages that post beautiful, stretch- mark free bellies. Make sure that you don’t forget the popcorn because it’s extremely entertaining.

2. Babies are a Blessing, but it Definitely comes with a Co$t

…And I believe in that fully. It’s amazing to watch your body transform and morph to accommodate a little human. The fact that it does this all on its own is a wonder within itself. However, the pandemic has completely took the wind out of my sails. Online and drive thru showers are considered “the norm.” Some expecting parents are just saying forget the shower altogether and I hear them. How can one be “showered” in gifts for baby bean when most of our friends and family had the most fucked up year of their lives? The suicide and overdose rates are at an all-time high. The U.S economy is in the shitter. Now that’s something you don’t see the mainstream news media covering daily. I guess it’s not as important as inflated cases and misrepresented death counts but that’s another topic that we can dive into another time. Not all baby gear and essentials are expensive (in my opinion) but when it’s your first child, you tend to second guess every brands and products. I am sure that a good fraction of us even over -spend and buy products that we don’t end up using. I suppose that we can call that “first-time mom anxiety.” Speaking of money, this brings me to my last point.

3. Some moms are annoying as FUCK

Like- I mean realllyyy on one! I know that I am not alone on this one, so I’m about to go in. Moms or other women (some who are/aren’t even pregnant) love to try and “teach” you something about carrying YOUR child. I don’t know how to put this lightly. If no one is asking ladies then you need to start shutting the fuck up, period. I won’t go into personal stories, but I see this shit every day. Every woman is different, everybody is going to handle a pregnancy different. So, when it comes to food choices, the name of the child, vaccines, a glass of red wine, a hit of cannabis, etc. Don’t feel the need to hop in like you’re about to save someone’s life. Unless your opinion was asked for then you don’t need to go in on what someone else should be doing with their body or child. Oh yeah and to all you “just wait” moms, you all come off pretty negative as well. Not every child is going to be terrible at the age of two. Perhaps you find it hard to handle your child, but to assume that every household will experience the same thing you did is such an overreach in my opinion. So, keep that shit to yourself. I’ll probably catch some flak for that one, but this is my viewpoint. Start your own blog/website and say your piece there.

So, let’s bring it back. I’m in my third trimester of pregnancy. In fact, I hit 30 weeks on Thursday, February 4, 2021. I am very much looking forward to my painful labor and delivery. I cannot wait to meet our baby girl. I am not writing this to scare anyone out of conceiving. I believe that pregnancy is the most beautiful life stage that a woman can experience. Sure, there is going to be a bit of bullshit especially during a never-ending pandemic, but I, like many others out there, will still tell you that it’s worth every obstacle, adjustment, and sacrifice.

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